The HamsterBall Show!
by MrZanyToTheMax
Summary: Four hamsters run in a race, coming across obstacles along the way. This fic is based on Hamsterball, a computer game created by Raptisoft. Hamsterball is one of my favorite games, which is why I'm writing this.
1. Introduction

Four hamsters, each in their own hamster ball, run in 15 different races! They encounter many obstacles along the way, including a mousetrap, a hammer, and a pesky 8-Ball. And it all happens right here, in The HamsterBall Show!


	2. Character list

**Hamsters:**

Hammy

Ranger Fink

Peepums

Mr. Raptis

OddBall Gilligan

Alicia Lily Aska

Hammy's sisters: Flora, Molly, Holly, and Coral

**Obstacles:**

The 8-Ball

Squeaks the Mousetrap

Fifi Foldup

Tara Tarbaby

Spike Whacker

The Purple Mouth

Baylie the Barrel

Ella Vator

Gary Granite

Nowya Simi/Nowya Dont

Lily and Lexi la Meeshwa

Pokey Dot

Carla Cakenpresser

Bonk the Hammer

Sir Francis Fanstorm

The Blade Brothers

Minnie the Mini 8-Ball

Dawggie the Block Dawg

Wesley Wobble

Crystal Glass

Magg the Magnifying Glass

Pokey Piper

FunBall

Haylie the Comet

Ruby the Rocket

Spinner the Gear

**Other:**

Bucky the Beaver

* * *

_Now, about the character names:_

_The characters Ranger Fink, Peepums, Mr. Raptis, and Squeaks the Mousetrap all have names that come from the high score list. Bonk the Hammer was named in the game, and Hammy, Dawggie, and FunBall all have names that come from the filenames of the images used in the game. _Spike, _one of the Mashing Maces from the Tower Race, was_ actually named after a Wipeout obstacle. _I came up with the other character names myself._

_Hammy's sisters have names based on Peter Rabbit's sisters (Hopsy included). OddBall's last name was first mentioned in the Get Fink story (the 13th chapter altogether)._


	3. Meet Hammy

One day, a hamster was competing in a race against a mouse. "It's time to get things started," said the hamster. "In that case, Hammy," replied the mouse, "why don't we get things started?" "Very well, then," said Hammy as he and the mouse got into position. "On your mark," said Hammy, "get set, GO!" Two minutes later, the mouse was in the lead. But as he crossed the finish line, what a surprise awaited him! Hammy had already crossed the finish line before him! "How did you get across the finish line? Last I knew, you were way behind me!" "I took the shortcut!" replied Hammy.

* * *

_You just met the first of four main characters: Hammy Fink. Hammy is very competitive, and always likes to compete in a race (like the one he just did with that mouse). The other three will be introduced in later chapters._


	4. Meet Ranger Fink

At the swimming pool in the town of Rodentia, a beach ball bounced into another hamster. This hamster, known as Ranger Fink, picked up the beach ball and discovered a fuse on it! "What the...?" she said. "Dîs héré's å bøøm!" The bomb exploded and left Ranger Fink all wet. "Well, well," she said, giggling. "More like, Dîs héré's å _water_ bøøm!"

* * *

_Now you just met Ranger Fink. I know what you're thinking: Is she related to Hammy Fink in some way? The answer is yes: She's his cousin. And "Ranger Fink" is not her real name. Her real name is Rachel Fink. Her sister (which I'll introduce in the next chapter) called her "Ranger Fink" once and it stuck. She's also known as "The Fink". And yes, she can speak Mock Swedish, as she just did here. So, two down, two to go!_


	5. Meet Peepums

On the other side of the town of Rodentia, another hamster was out on the playground with a gerbil and a guinea pig. "Okay, rock, paper, scissors, go!" said the hamster. She picked rock, and the gerbil and the guinea pig both picked paper. "Peepums, that's the second time you've lost to our paper this week!" said the gerbil. "Hey, at least her rock wasn't disguised as scissors this time," the guinea pig replied. "You're right," said Peepums. "But actually, I won this time around, because I've actually got scissors disguised as a rock!"

* * *

_Well, here's Peepums Fink. She's Ranger Fink's sister (and Hammy's other cousin). She's the one who first called the Fink by her nickname, "Ranger Fink". So that's three down, one to go. Oh, by the way, the town of Rodentia is where the characters live._


	6. Meet Mr Raptis

In a laboratory somewhere else in the town of Rodentia, another hamster sat at a desk. He was wearing a purple bowler hat. "This is Professor Benjamin Raptis here at Hamster Labs, where the future is being made today," he said. "And here at Hamster Labs, we have just released our new line of explosive hats." Just then, the hat he was wearing exploded! Unfazed, Mr. Raptis put on a pair of gloves and said, "And for those of you who like the double-barreled effect, explosive gloves." Then the gloves exploded! Still unfazed, Mr. Raptis pointed to a scarf he was wearing and said, "These go well with Hamster Labs' explosive scarves." Then the scarf exploded! Still unfazed, Mr. Raptis concluded, "And that's all for now from Hamster Labs."

* * *

_So that's our four main characters. Of those four, only Hammy does not have a name from Hamsterball's high score table. The next few chapters will be about these four characters' first adventure._


	7. Hamster Labs: SoundBall

Hammy, Ranger Fink, and Peepums were gathered in Hamster Labs to see Mr. Raptis' new invention. As always, he introduced himself, saying, "This is Professor Benjamin Raptis here at Hamster Labs, where the future is being made today." Then he presented his new invention. "Well," he said, "how many times have you played music on a CD player, only for the CD to start skipping? Hamster Labs' SoundBall doesn't have that problem. In fact, it can play 23 different tracks, no CD required!" "I want one," said Hammy to Ranger Fink. "Me too," replied Ranger Fink. "So do I," said Peepums. Mr. Raptis heard them and said, "You can each have your own SoundBall, but you can't have this one. I need to deliver it to the Land of Obstacles." Hammy and his cousins were surprised when they heard this. "The Land of Obstacles?" asked Hammy. "Are you serious?" "Absolutely," replied Mr. Raptis. "But two hamsters went there a month ago and never returned!" said Ranger Fink. "I thought about that," Mr. Raptis replied, "and I figured out how we can avoid getting captured ourselves!" "How?" asked Peepums. Mr. Raptis led the others to four hamsterballs and said, "I've invented a special hamster ball that can help out. It has a voice-activated disguise program. And there's one for each of us!" One hamsterball was white, one was blue, one was red, and one was yellow. Hammy got into the white ball, Ranger Fink got into the blue ball, Peepums got into the red ball, and Mr. Raptis, carrying the SoundBall, got into the yellow ball. Then the hamsters headed toward the Land of Obstacles. "How does the disguise work?" asked Peepums. Then her disguise was activated. "Simple," said Mr. Raptis. "Just say 'disguise.'" His disguise was activated the moment he said "disguise". Hammy and Ranger Fink activated their disguises as well.

* * *

_So this is the hamsters' first adventure. It will be continued in the next chapter._


	8. At the Land of Obstacles

When the hamsters arrived at the Land of Obstacles, they were stopped by Dawggie, the Land of Obstacles' guard, who asked, "Who goes there? Hamster or obstacle?" "Obstacle," said Mr. Raptis. "We are the 8-Ball's cousins and would like to see him." As it turns out, the hamsters' disguises were of 4 of the 8-Ball's cousins. "Come on in," said Dawggie. Inside the Land of Obstacles, a mousetrap seemed to be looking for something. He asked the hamsters, "Have you seen FunBall anywhere?" Peepums, seeing FunBall leave, said, "He's over there, by the exit." But on their way to the Land of Obstacles, Mr. Raptis had warned the others, "Don't say the word 'exit' while inside your hamsterball, or your disguise will turn off." And that's just what happened. Peepums' disguise was deactivated. Then, Hammy and Ranger Fink both said "exit" while telling Mr. Raptis what happened, and their disguises were deactivated. Mr. Raptis told us, "I told you not to say the word 'exit'!" and his disguise was deactivated. "Hamster Alert!" the mousetrap said over and over until a brown hammer came to see what was going on. "I came to see what's going on," said the hammer, whose name was Bonk. "Well, Bonk," said the mousetrap, "these hamsters came in here disguised as the 8-Ball's cousins, evidently to rescue those other two hamsters we caught a month or so ago!" "Good thing you caught them, Squeaks," said Bonk. "Let's get them!" We ran, and Squeaks and Bonk ran after us. Then, Mr. Raptis decided that the hamsters should each go in different directions to confuse the obstacles. How do I know this? Because he said, "I think we should each go in different directions to confuse the obstacles!" "Oh, yes!" said Peepums. "What a grand idea!" said Hammy. "We should have done this when they started chasing us!" Ranger Fink added. So they all went in different directions, confusing Bonk and Squeaks with regard to which way to go. But then Bonk surprised them with a giant hamster that seemed to behave more like a dog than a hamster! The giant hamster chased after me, and as I passed an elevator-type obstacle, the obstacle said, "Need a lift? Hop on!" Ranger Fink got on her and was given a lift to the next floor. As the giant hamster passed Ella, which is the name of the obstacle who just gave Ranger Fink a lift, Ella told her, "She went that way," pointing to her right. The giant hamster went in the direction Ella indicated.

* * *

_Now you've just met four obstacles and another hamster. The four obstacles are Dawggie the Block Dawg, Squeaks the Mousetrap, Bonk the Hammer, and Ella Vator. The giant hamster is Alicia Lily Aska. The 8-Ball was mentioned, but he has yet to be seen._


	9. Meet OddBall

Eventually, the four hamsters all met up again. Unfortunately, however, they were surrounded by obstacles. And the giant hamster. "Dawggie," said Bonk, "lock them up with the wacky one." The next thing the hamsters knew, Dawggie was placing them in what appeared to be a jail cell. With them there was another hamster! "This must be one of the hamsters who came here last month," Ranger Fink told Hammy. "Yes, I am," said the hamster. "My name is OddBall. Perhaps you've met my friend." "Who's your friend?" asked Hammy. "That giant hamster?" "Yes," said OddBall. "Her name is Alicia Lily Aska." "That's a peculiar name," said Peepums. "Where's she from?" "Take her first and middle initals and her last name and you'll find the answer," replied OddBall. "Well, her first initial is A," said Hammy. "And her middle initial is L," added the Fink. "So that makes A. L. Aska..." began Mr. Raptis. "That's it!" shouted Peepums. "She's from Alaska!" "But why does she seem to be working for the obstacles?" Ranger Fink asked. "She underwent a very extensive training that lasted 26 days," explained OddBall. "She's behaved like a dog ever since." "Is there any way to undo the training?" asked Hammy. "Yes, there is one way. Alicia has never heard her favorite song since her training began. I have the music track, if you need it." "We'll need it," said Mr. Raptis. "Maybe I can add it to the 23 tracks already on the SoundBall." "Maybe," said OddBall, "but we'll need to start the plan tomorrow. Alicia won't be close enough today, but she comes by every morning." So they set up their plan and waited for the next morning.

* * *

_You've just met OddBall and learned why Alicia Lily Aska behaves like a dog. Oh, and Alicia's training lasted **26** days, in case you haven't noticed. A 99 may or may not appear later in the hamsters' first adventure. I haven't figured that out yet. In the next chapter, the hamsters will start their plan._


	10. Meet Alicia Lily Aska

The next morning, the hamsters initiated their plan. Mr. Raptis placed the SoundBall where Alicia would hear the music, and then they waited for her to come near. Around 9:00 that morning, Bonk, Alicia, and the 8-Ball came by to check on the hamsters. What a surprise to find their cell empty! "Hey, Alicia! Over here!" the hamsters said, coming out of hiding. Then Mr. Raptis turned on the SoundBall, playing track 24: the song OddBall suggested. Alicia heard it loud and clear, and it was just like all her training just flew out the window. But first, she growled at Bonk and the 8-Ball, attacking them! "Take it easy, now!" said Bonk. "It's just a song! You don't need to attack us for not letting you listen to it!" added the 8-Ball. But the effects of the training were disappearing. Still on all fours, Alicia said to us, "Thank you. I needed that."

Later that morning, the hamsters, including Alicia, were all gathered in their cell, planning an escape. "I just don't get it," said Alicia. "Some hamsters are let in, others, like us, get taken captive." "There needs to be a reason to come," said OddBall. "Do the four of you have a reason?" "Why, yes," said Mr. Raptis. "We need to deliver this SoundBall here." "You should've told the obstacles that when you got here!" said OddBall. "Then, the obstacles would've known why you were coming." "So why did you come here?" Ranger Fink asked. "Just to visit a friend who lives here. Some of the obstacles are friendly. Have you met Ella Vator?" "I have," the Fink replied. "How about Lily and Lexi la Meeshwa?" "No, not yet," said Peepums. "Minnie the Mini 8-Ball?" "I may have," said Hammy.

* * *

_That song Alicia has just heard was Alaska's state song. Here's a fun fact about the hamsters' first adventure: I originally wrote it in first person, from Ranger Fink's perspective. This adventure will conclude in the next chapter, but it won't be the hamsters' last adventure._


	11. Ranger Fink's Idea

Later that day, Dawggie came to the cell. "All right, hamsters. It has been decided that we'll set all six of you free if you have a good reason to be coming here," he said. "We have a reason," said Hammy, and Mr. Raptis got out the SoundBall. "We came to deliver this." "What is it?" asked Dawggie, intrigued. "It's the SoundBall, Hamster Labs' latest invention. It plays music," explained Ranger Fink. "Sounds like a good enough reason to me," said Dawggie, letting the hamsters out of the cell. "Before you leave, though, I'd like to say this. The obstacles have decided to let you take something from here. Just pick anything you want," he said. "You know," Hammy told us, "running from those obstacles made me think of building an obstacle course!" "Good thinking!" said the Fink. Then she told Dawggie, "Here's an idea. I think you'll like it!" "What is it?" asked Dawggie. "That chase scene was so interesting," said Ranger Fink, "I thought of converting the Land of Obstacles into an obstacle course!" "That's a great idea!" replied Dawggie. The other obstacles thought that was a great idea as well, as did the hamsters.

So that's how the game of HamsterBall, which is now the official sport of the town of Rodentia, was created. The Land of Obstacles is now Rodentia's HamsterBall Stadium. The obstacles love the change, because they can chase hamsters whenever they come near! And the friendly ones? They like to help out!

* * *

_That's the end of the hamsters' first adventure. Their next adventure, where OddBall's last name will be revealed, begins in the next chapter._


	12. Get Fink

**_GET FINK_**

* * *

"One morning, Ranger Fink was out for a walk when she heard a ringing sound. The sound seemed to be coming from her shoe! She took off her shoe and discovered a phone in it! She answered the phone in her shoe and said, "This is Fink. Ranger Fink." "Ranger Fink," said the voice on the other end, "this is Hammy. You're needed at Hamster Labs. Any questions?" "Just one," the Fink replied. "Why is there a phone in my shoe?" "That will be explained once you get there," answered Hammy. Ranger Fink put her shoe back on and headed toward Hamster Labs.

* * *

Ranger Fink went through a series of doors before arriving in an office. In the office, her cousin Hammy was sitting at a desk. Ranger Fink asked him, "What's up with the phone in my shoe, anyway?" "Mr. Raptis will explain that at Hamster Labs," answered Hammy. "Right now, I have something to tell you. At the moment, this is a code green. Your sister Peepums…" "Wait a minute, Hammy," the Fink interrupted. "Since you just said this is a code green, shouldn't we activate the Hamsterball of Silence?" With that, the Hamsterball of Silence was lowered. While inside it, Hammy could hear Ranger Fink just fine, but Ranger Fink couldn't hear him! So Hammy raised the Hamsterball of Silence and told Ranger Fink what was going on. Peepums had been captured by the obstacles, and the Fink was needed to save her. When Ranger Fink was told what was going on, she continued on to Hamster Labs.

* * *

_This is the hamsters' second adventure: Get Fink. It's a Get Smart parody, complete with a shoe phone and a Cone of Silence parody. Mr. Raptis, OddBall, and Alicia Lily Aska will appear in the next chapter._


	13. Agent Gilligan

At Hamster Labs, Mr. Raptis and his assistant, Alicia Lily Aska, explained to Ranger Fink that the phone in Ranger Fink's shoe was the special shoe phone Mr. Raptis gave her. Mr. Raptis realized he forgot to tell the Fink about it. Alicia handed the Fink a miniature shovel as Raptis explained, "This shovel is actually a harmonica in disguise. If you play it, it could distract the obstacles and give you a chance to rescue Peepums." Then he told the Fink what to do. She was to go to the Gerbil Rock restaurant and order the soup. Agent Gilligan would meet the Fink at the restaurant. "How will I find Gilligan, Professor?" asked Ranger Fink. "Agent Gilligan will find you and use the following phrase: 'Would you like some ginger in your soup?'" answered Mr. Raptis. "That's why you need to order the soup." "Well, personally," the Fink replied, "if I am to have someone in my soup, I'd prefer Mary Ann!" "Not that kind of ginger, Rachel," Mr. Raptis replied. "I'm talking about the spice, not the castaway. Just remember, Rachel, that on this mission, you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable." "And loving it," replied Ranger Fink. And with that, she went to the Gerbil Rock restaurant.

* * *

At the restaurant, the Fink ordered the soup, as Mr. Raptis told her to do. FunBall came by and asked her, "Would you like some ginger in your soup?" "Are you Gilligan?" Ranger Fink asked him. "No," replied FunBall. "I'm the Skipper!" Ranger Fink realized something. FunBall had told one of his jokes again. Then, OddBall walked up to Ranger Fink and asked her the same question. Ranger Fink replied, "No thanks. I don't like my soup that spicy." "You don't understand," OddBall replied. "That's Fink-brand soup, and this is Gilligan-brand ginger." Ranger Fink understood what OddBall was trying to say. "Are you Gilligan?" she asked. "Of course," replied OddBall. "Hammy told me what we need to do," said the Fink. "He also said it's a code green." "Well," replied OddBall, "I already know what we need to do. I also know some valuable information about the obstacles." "Then tell me," replied Ranger Fink. "Well, you said it was a code green," replied OddBall. "Shouldn't we speak in a mock language?" "All right, Swedish," replied Ranger Fink. "I don't think so," replied OddBall. "Carla Cakenpresser is right behind me, and she speaks Mock Swedish. How about we try Mock Korean?" "Okay," said Ranger Fink. "Nabariha, Nalasia, Narakima, Annali." "Sa," added OddBall. "What do you mean, 'sa'?" replied the Fink. "You didn't finish that last word," OddBall replied. "I finished it for you." "Sorry, OddBall," Ranger Fink apologized, "but that's the only Mock Korean I know!"

* * *

_Yes, OddBall's last name is Gilligan. Also, when Ranger Fink says, "How will I find Gilligan, Professor?", she makes references to the Howells ("how will" sounds like "Howell") and the Professor (she called Mr. Raptis "Professor"). Also, the phrase OddBall says when she meets the Fink at the restaurant is a reference to Ginger. Ranger Fink's response when she first hears the phrase mentions Mary Ann directly, and FunBall's reply to "Are you Gilligan?" mentions the Skipper directly. Also, the name of the restaurant is a reference to Fraggle Rock. And of course Carla Cakenpresser speaks Mock Swedish! Her last name is a Mock Swedish word! (It means "cake presser".) As for the Mock Korean, I basically took different words and mixed up their consonants and changed any e's to i's. I'm not telling what the different words are. You'll have to figure that out for yourself!_


	14. The Hamster Trap

Later, Carla Cakenpresser went to Bonk the Hammer. "What did you find out, Carla?" asked Bonk. "În svér dé hür dé Mück Korééîn," Carla replied. "They said something in Mock Korean?" Bonk asked, trying to make sense of Carla's words. Carla nodded. "And you don't understand Mock Korean?" added Bonk. Carla nodded again. "Well, then," said Bonk, "there's two things we'll have to do. One: get Gilligan, and two: get Fink!"

Meanwhile, Ranger Fink and OddBall were approaching the hill where the obstacles were keeping Peepums. But as they got close to the cage, Bonk the Hammer and the 8-Ball caught them! "Aha! Trying to rescue Peepums, eh?" Bonk said. "Well..." the Fink began, but she didn't say anything else because the 8-Ball interrupted. "Let's lock them up with Peepums!" he said. And so Ranger Fink and OddBall were locked up in the cage with Peepums. "And no trying to escape!" the 8-Ball said. "I don't think so," the Fink replied. "I happen to be an expert on escaping from these traps. Why, I've learned all kinds of escapes from watching four straight hours of MythBusters! Would you believe it? Four hours of MythBusters!" "I find that hard to believe," Bonk replied. "Would you believe three hours of Gilligan's Island?" asked Ranger Fink. "I don't think so," Bonk said. Ranger Fink chuckled at what she thought of next. "How about half an hour of Odd Squad?" she said. "Well, if that's the case," Bonk said, "I hope you skip a step in trying to escape!" And with that, the obstacles left.

* * *

_It's a Get Smart parody, so of course a "would you believe" would show up eventually! I've already done an "and loving it", so that leaves a "missed it by that much", which will appear in the next chapter. A "sorry about that, Chief" will not appear in the story, in case you're wondering. And yes, Carla speaks Mock Swedish, but she doesn't understand Mock Korean. (She understands English, however!)_

_And about the reference to Odd Squad: I was visiting a friend's house recently and Odd Squad was on the TV. It was the episode "Skip Day", which is why Bonk mentions "skipping a step"._

_In the next chapter, Ranger Fink, OddBall, and Peepums will be rescued._


End file.
